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In the Shape of a Swan

by Cellar Dwellar

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1.
Say the magic words Get yourself out of here If you're out there I hope you're near I saw death rising from the earth As we picked flowers from her streets And they could never hear our screams Over the loud horns and tire screech
2.
"I can feel the breakdown is coming" She says pacing back n forth back n forth When she slips through the cracks into a parallel dual reality A mitosis of the mind A part of her here A part of her there I follow (Something quite sinister at work here) While the rest of us are stuck in some catatonic liminal orgy The dancing shadows mimicking the grotesque theatre of their counterparts (I'm not quite sure where this is going) It's become quite clear we've overstayed our welcome The shadow and their summoners trade places. A violent cerebral episode ensues… (Something uncanny in the way she moves) You really lost it this time Lost it this time, yeah This is not the world you used to know And as the bodies thrash against the walls and piss-soaked carpet In the spasms of their dying I hear as they let out their exaltations of flickering joy Hunter seeker needle jamming into anything that resembles virgin flesh Weapons of love and war Everybody here has embraced the bomb a thousand times over Take the cash and let the credit go A penny for a lifetime A pill for your thoughts? And a wishing well where all the money goes (and it goes..) In this Lovecraftian hellscape, She holds herself together with the composure of a distant star (and it goes..) Always exploding, (and it goes..) Only held together by the gravity in it's center But the breakdown is coming If you don't like this world You should see the others If you don't like this world You should see the others If you don't like this world You should see the others If you don't like this world You should see the others You should see the others You should see the others.. You really lost it this time Lost it this time, yeah This is not the world you used to know Come back to earth Come back to earth The breakdown is coming It's just around the corner Can you feel it? Can you feel it now? We're just waiting for the other shoe to drop But who are we kidding ourselves It's already here It's upon us Like a rapture Hosanna! We shall be seized from these mortal vessels We'll leave these human suits behind Just you and I You and I We shall be whole again As if nothing had ever changed The gift of another chance But how many did we take in vain? You really lost it this time Lost it this time, yeah This is not the world you used to know Come back to earth Come back to earth You really lost it this time Lost it this time, yeah When you come crashing back down Let the earth embrace your bones Brutish things bellow in this dark underbelly I think we both know how this one ends The same tricks that we use to discern madness from mystics The writings on the wall But no one has the answers
3.
Pollux 05:13
God help me find my soul Among this dead-eyed Porcelain doll Porcelain doll I know this is wrong But it feels so How it feels so Right You are a love I have left behind I have washed my hands I have shed this lie But every layer I strip away There you are and we go on another day (We will be erased) (Oh, we will be erased) (This day) Whittle you down I will whittle you down again Till there's nothing left but splinters in my hands Nothing can save us now To help me find my face again Alone and dark and lost again Enraptured in this repulsion Oh how it feels so right It feels so right But you hung up your love like a leather skin tie Around the door, we locked from the inside When we go to sleep tonight I hope, I pray, an empty space where you Lie There was a time when you meant much to me I gave you flowers to mask the rot beneath the trees But goddamn do I know the feeling To call the bluff of the autumn leaves Taking every last chance they get Before losing grip to the dirty earth below (We will be erased) (So we can be whole again) We will be (We will be erased) (So we can be whole again) Erased Whittle you down I whittle you down again Til there's nothing left but splinters in my hands Nothing can save us now We will be erased (Hosanna, Hosanna, please save us) So we can be (Hosanna, Hosanna please, please, please, please) Whole again The remains of romance drenched in sheets Two straights disguised as obtuse queens My life entwined in an endless spin Between their legs, I will make amends To atone the sins I have made in vain Across the mirror, as she does the same When we awake and the light had changed I will play my part Only I remain Only I remain Hosanna, Hosanna Please save us, please save us They don't know they're dead yet Phantom armies fighting wars the world has long lost forgotten They don't know they're dead yet The sky is falling, the world's imploding We're already dead now We're already dead now We're already dead now We're already dead now We're already dead now Already dead now Already dead now Already dead now
4.
Alecto 05:16
But at what cost? Your soul Familiar bodies The memory of skin and the way it dissolves in another lover's arms Sudden molecular breakdown Absolved by the addition of time Everything's changed Everything's changed Everything's changed I see you My crooked twin You watch me with tilted eyes You, you think I could ever be like you Five hours disappeared To haunt me forever Nose bleeding, mouth sewn shut Ghostly presences are all that's here Untie this umbilical noose from my throat This is not the world you used to know Dead before fully formed She's assimilated to the womb Gone forever Gone for good I'm right here and Gone for forever Gone for good Slipped through the cracks in the floor She ain't ever coming back Ever coming back She ain't ever coming back She ain't ever coming back Ever coming back Slipped through the cracks in the floor Did you get what you wanted Did you get what you wanted Did you get what you wanted Did you get what you wanted now? Did you get what you wanted? I'mma give you what you wanted now Did you get what you wanted Gonna give you what you wanted Did you get what you wanted (Who do you think you are) (You're not real) Gonna give you what you wanted (Give her back) (You fucking liar) (You fucking imposter) You fucking judas Baby's given me the ultimatum "You know the door" she says "But if you go," "I'm afraid I'll never know the person who comes out the other side" (You're not here) She was never here (She's not real) She was never here (I'm right here) She was never here (I'm right here)
5.
REV9 05:50
So why won't you tell me who did that to you Weren't we just kids, Is there no place for innocence Even if you knew A gaslight is nothing in the full light of the sun We can never be safe where we are seen Just keep your head low Your head low We can never be safe where we are seen Just keep your head low Your head low Sum of all our parts without What they took away Summon to my mind now What did they take away? Sum of all our parts without What they took away Summon to my mind now What did they take away? Cut the fucking lies and just tell me the truth To scorch the Earth beneath our feet Leave not a trace of what you've seen here Seen here Sum of all our parts without What they took away Summon to my mind now What did they take away? Sum of all our parts without (Some of our parts without) What they took away (What they took away) Summon to my mind (Summon to my mind) What did they take away? (What did they take away?) The light had changed, wrong color, wrong way You're losing it, you're losing it And won't you meet me half way through You're losing it, you're losing it The sum of all our parts without What they took away (We can never be safe where we are seen) Summon to my mind now (This body and the damage done) What they took away, took away Oh what they took away (All my bullets for the love you stole) What they took away, took away What they took away Oh, what they took away, took away What they took away The sum of all our parts without What they took away Summon to my mind now What did they take away? Sum of all our parts without (Sum of our parts without) What they took away (What they took away) Summon to my mind (Summon to my mind) What did they take away? (What did they take away?)
6.
Safeword 05:16
I have no mouth And I must scream God how I want to believe This ghost you've built up inside your head Lying down at your feet This kiss of death to my left cheek To coax a name, of determined fate Traitor Traitor My sweet master Spit it out Speak no evil (To kiss the boot that tramples your neck) (To lick the knife that severs your spine) Thy will be done (Fat off the flesh, drunk off the blood) (Fat off the flesh, drunk on the blood) Lovely, the venom dripping down my throat Damned to stone Writhing in the flesh used to bind you But who's going to touch you now? Oh to be the noose that cradles your neck I will hold you close in your little death Rejoice Rejoice My sweet master Spit it out Speak no evil Thy will be done (To kiss the boot that tramples your neck) (To lick the knife that severs your spine) (Fat off the flesh, drunk off the blood) (Fat off the flesh, drunk on the blood) Captive of the sun Go ahead and finish what you started Tell me what you know Silence will only make this harder But if your spirit won't break I guess your bones will do Cat got your tongue I guess we're only just getting started Nowhere left to go Look at what you made me do You will give me what I want The road to truth is always paved in blood I will whittle you down No-one can save you now To kiss the boot that tramples your head To lick the knife that severs your spine Fat off the flesh, drunk off the blood Fat off the flesh, drunk on the blood Godly betrayal Who is to love me now Homicidal planet, black iron prison Who is to love me Now
7.
Retcon 08:07
It is happening again These eyes in my brain These marks on my skin A voice with no name If I'm just a patsy A lamb for the slaughter To justify reason To damn your sons and your daughters It is happening again These eyes in my brain These marks on my skin Oh but who's to blame But look who is peaking From behind bloody curtains To justify reason To mask the sins of the father Skimming the pages of your life Blacking out what you don't like Rip them out, we will rip them out Eyes, tongue and ears You were never really here Something lingers in the corner (Corner) Something stands at the foot of my bed (Foot of my bed) It sits on my chest (Sits on my chest) It wants my Wants my Wants my soul (Wants my soul) Memory, such a fickle thing Carve thy skin A memento for me What they don't know can not hurt us Lest they forget What time will show us Who holds the camera? Who holds the tape? Remember it your way You know what that makes Who holds the camera? Who holds the tape? The one pointing fingers Ghosts caught in the frame Who holds the camera? Who holds the tape? The check has been made Cause it's their game we play Who holds the camera? Who holds the tape? The breakdown is coming Or they fucked with your brain Who holds the camera? Who holds the tape? Rose-tinted glasses But it's my world erased Who holds the camera? Who holds the tape? Wiped from your conscious But it's my soul that breaks Who holds the camera? Who holds the tape? Remember it your way You know what that makes Who holds the camera? Who holds the tape? Remember it your way But we know who's to blame Poking and prodding Is not that much better When the light has changed But the touch stays the same Can we pick up the pieces To put back together The parts of ourselves That we left in the rubble How can we ever Reap what was stolen Another one for the taking Another one for the slaughter Something lingers in the corner (Corner) Something stands at the foot of my bed (Foot of my bed) It sits on my chest (Sits on my chest) It wants my Wants my Wants my soul (Wants my soul) How can we ever reap what was stolen? Murder flies south in the sowing season A sin that can never ever be forgiven It is happening again It is happening again It is happening again It is happening again Who holds the camera? Who holds the tape? Remember it your way You know who's to blame Who holds the camera? Who holds the tape? Remember it your way You know (What that makes) (I don't think you are who you really are) (I don't think you are who you really are)
8.
I stole a glimpse from my car's window To meet the gaze of a woman flickering underneath my porch light To whom I already knew was there And had been there a lifetime Before we had the audacity to call her house Our home Before we had the nerve to gut the walls of the place she once knew Love For the heinousness of our transgression She made damn sure to take the liberty in her own hands To make my family just as more strangers to each other Than we could ever make her feel in her own home She waves Not to me But to the streetlight that entraps me The street that has been paved a thousand times since she was here In the body and flesh In the flesh and blood The cage that imprisons our souls While we may declare ourselves alive for such a fleeting time She waves to the line of houses In the hope that the generosity of a familiar stranger she once knew Would rescue her from this child Tapping Tapping at her fishbowl And return her to the eternal ocean Which she was never born to But knows deep in her heart Her being belongs to. In that moment I saw you naked For everything you ever were And everything you will ever be And in the refraction of the porch light I believe I saw myself too Naked and terrified of what people would do When they find the bodies in the walls To defile the memory of whatever time hadn't gotten to So there she is Under the cold porch light Waving to future ghosts I meet her gaze once more But she sees right through me A videotape Doomed to repeat herself For the rest of eternity
9.
Castor 07:19
In the panels of Barren winter static Twice erased and now Here you are Old enough to know better But from up here You have such lovely Bones Did you hear that? I think it's the sound of our bones settling in Did you hear that? I think it's the sound of our bones settling in My lips and cheeks I bit raw Trying to erase the taste of you But your sweet memory Has been tainted by the blood in my teeth But you beg for love this real, oh You beg for love this real How can we burn down this bridge any faster How can you bear the cross of an apathetic lover With every breath you begged me to love you While I was trying my best Just to drown out all the oxygen God did we suffocate And god did we ever burn You beg for love this real You beg for love this real You beg for love this real You beg for love this real You beg for love this real Did you hear that? I think it's the sound of our bones settling in Did you hear that? I think it's the sound of our bones settling in We will be erased so we can be whole again We will be erased so we can be whole again How brittle our bones have grown We made angels in the snow Forever erased and yet here you are Old enough to know better Old enough to know better As I slept next to you As the snow fell (As we kissed) (As we embraced) As we laid naked in our whimsical arrogance Taunting the wild winter air As if the bitterness from the cold Could never possess us As it tapped at our bedroom window like a wraith An omen of the worst to come (The worst to come) (The worst to come) You beg for love this real You beg for love this real You beg for love this real You beg for love this real You beg for love this real You beg for love this real You beg for love this real Did you hear that? I think it's the sound of our bones settling in Did you hear that? If only I had known I'd never let you in We will be erased so we can be whole again We will be erased Ghosts in the snow With nothing but a trail of blood behind us You and I You and I We will be erased so we can be whole again The sigils of a memory lost to the march of time You and I You and I How brittle our bones have grown We make angels in the snow Forever erased and now here we are Old enough to know better Old enough to know better

credits

released January 19, 2024

Written & Performed by Cellar Dwellar
Produced by Joe Amadio & Cellar Dwellar
Tracked/Mixed/Mastered by Joe Amadio at Moonlight Audio
Artwork by @minagash
Funded in part and made possible by the Greater Columbus Arts Council

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Cellar Dwellar Columbus, Ohio

connoisseur of high strangeness

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